Posts Tagged ‘positive mental attitude’

Be careful what you hold or what you let go

Are you trapped between your past and your future? Unable to move forward? Or are you choosing NOT to move forward? That is exactly what you do to yourself when you hold on to events and remarks of the past. You are stuck. You can not move forward because you refuse to let go of the past.

Imagine seeing a shiny gold nugget the size of an orange. You know it is worth a fortune and you desire to possess that gold for your very own. You understand how extremely valuable it is and how it will solve most of your financial problems. It is so close you can almost touch it, but not quite. You reach your hand through the narrow opening between the iron posts. Wiggle your fingers and success, you begin to inch it into your hand. You are clutching that marvelous treasure. You gently pull back your hand. Oh no, you guessed it. The only way to bring your hand back through the narrow opening is to release the gold.

You have a choice to make. Release the gold and retrieve your hand or clutch the gold and remain with your hand captive inside the iron box.

This example represents the OPPOSITE of holding on tightly to negative events of the past. As long as you hold on tightly to the negatives of the past, you can never grasp the shiny golden future which awaits you. Just the example of the trapped hand, your life is held suspended in limbo until you release the past.

Instead of holding a shiny valuable nugget of gold, you are holding a hot ball of tar. What is there about that ugly ball of tar that is so important that you throw away your entire future?

By releasing the ugly grudges, resentments or hurts of the past, you will be free to step into the golden glow of your positive mental attitude. You can not hold both a positive and a negative attitude simultaneously. Which one do you really want?

If I had selected an ugly object, you would never have reached into the cage.

Another example is the baseball player who has his foot firmly planted on first base. If he never takes his foot off of first base, he can not possibly run to second base.

Where are you stuck?

A woman called me recently and said some extremely unladylike remarks. Even though I knew she did not have her facts correct, it stung to hear such comments. I had a choice to make. I could keep thinking about her remarks and let it cast an icy blanket of emotional ice water over my day. I could fire comments back at her or tell her she was wrong. I could call others and whine and complain. I could even post a nasty note on Facebook. Instead I chose to write a polite “sorry you are upset and I apologize if I accidentally offended you” note. At that time I chose to let it go and go on with my day. Holding on to the negative comments would only hurt me and hurt those I contacted throughout the day.

The other people in my life did not cause the situation, need to be involved in the issue or even have any interest in the fray. Nothing successful was to be gained from holding on to the incident. In order to maintain my positive day, it required a positive mental attitude. Once again you can only hold a positive or a negative thought – not both at the same time. You choose which. My success plan clearly prescribes the positive.

Let go of the hot tar ball of prior negative situations. Take your foot off of first base. Resolve the situation in your mind and move forward with your day. Choose to hold positive thoughts.

If you are seeking a speaker who knows how to energize and uplift your spirits, contact me. If you are seeking a personal coach and mentor who truly cares about improving your life, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com. If you want to write me a note, go to www.ElaineSpeaks.com.

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Emotional ice water will not disappear with the snap of fingers or the click of a mouse. It is a gradual process. Just as 5, 10 or 20 pounds of weight does not suddenly appear so emotional ice water may creep in slowly before we are totally aware. It is easier to defend our spirit against the sudden dump of a bucket of ice water than it is the slow but steady stream of emotional ice water.

Once the awareness hits the conscious zone, the time for “ostrich hiding the head in the sand” behavior is over. The time has arrived for gradually or more abruptly warming up the temperature surrounding your emotional health. How do you create that success plan?

1. Identify the people in your life who spread the largest quantities of the icy liquid. Start reducing the time you spend in their presence. Start increasing the time you spend with positive influences such as motivational cds, inspirational books, and goal-oriented people. Give your positive mental attitude a fighting chance.

Brian Tracy, Chris Widener, Jim Rohn, John Maxwell, Andy Andrews, Napoleon Hill and Wallace Wattles are a few of the authors who have influenced my life in a positive manner. They are key ingredients in my success plan.

Success magazine, Success book summaries, and the recordings which accompany those publications help me defrost the negative intrusions in my life.

2. Attend motivational live events. Just the very act of associating with forward moving, goal-oriented happy individuals will add the glint of a smile to your eyes and a warm fuzzy glow in your soul. Filling your mind with happy thoughts and feelings will spill over into confident words and actions. Never underestimate the power of the associations in your life. These associations can enhance your positive mental attitude or erode it.

3. Become conscious of your thoughts. Do you dwell on petty comments and thoughtless remarks? You do have control of your thoughts. Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time – positive or negative. Your success plan requires positive reinforcement.

When you fill all of your waking hours with motivational, inspirational and educational input, it will naturally squeeze out all of the undesirable influences.

Zig Zigler once said, “Motivation does not last, but neither does bathing. That is why we do it every day.”

4. A grudge is the most destructive thing you can ever hold. It tears at your thoughts, confidence and emotional stability. What old beliefs, attitudes or idle remarks are you holding in your heart? Let them go. Forgive. Yes, forgiveness is truly for you. The other person may not even know you forgave them. Forgiveness of others is something you do for yourself. You will be amazed at the load forgiveness will remove from your stooped emotional shoulders. Holding a grudge is the constant pouring of buckets of emotional ice water on yourself.

5. Gratitude eases your emotional load as well. When you focus on being grateful for the good things in your life, you warm up the emotional ice water several degrees. Try starting your day by writing in your gratitude journal. It sets a positive tone to the entire day.

Doing each of these things can bring the 32 degree freezing water temperature up to at least a warm cozy shower or even to a steam sauna. You get to choose the temperature of your life.

If you are seeking a speaker who knows how to energize and uplift your spirits, contact me. If you are seeking a personal coach and mentor who truly cares about improving your life, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com. If you want to write me a note, go to www.ElaineSpeaks.com.

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Emotional Ice Water flows into all of our lives. It is as predictable as snow in the Colorado mountains in the winter. It is not a matter of IF it will come, but rather when and how much. Emotional ice water follows the same law of when, how much and from what source.

Maturity dictates that we do not throw the tantrum of a 2 year old, stick our head under the pillow and pretend it doesn’t exist or drive off a cliff. So what can we do?

1. We can develop a positive mental attitude and create a success plan. Take a blank sheet of paper and make three columns. In column one, write a detailed list of all of your co-workers, friends, neighbors and family with whom you associate on a fairly regular basis. In column two beside each name write how many hours a week you spend with each one. In column three write how many of those hours you really feel good when spending time with them. For instance:

Albert 4 hours a week 30 minutes feeling good
Charlotte 4 hours a week 3 hours feeling good

Continue your list. Some people are creative, positive, and fun. You enjoy spending time with them and feel good when you are with them and even after you part company for the day. Increase your time with these “feel good” people. Focus more on the positive feeling generated by the encounter.

Implement your success plan by making a minor or, if possible, a major reduction in the time you spend with negative “drag your spirits down” people. If they happen to be a relative, it may not be possible to scoot them off into the sidelines of your life. You don’t have to rush over to see them. Unfortunately, it is more likely that their “sour on life” attitude will rub off on you than your “zest for life” attitude will transmit to them.

Become conscious of the people with whom you spend time and your negative or positive mental attitude when you are in their presence. Make adjustments in the amount of your precious time you spend with each one.

It is said that the vibration in the entire room rises when Mother Teresa walks into the room. Create those positive feelings when people are around you.

2. Make a list of your activities. What are you doing when you feel the most productive and the happiest? These enjoyable activities contribute to your positive mental attitude.

Be conscious of what you are doing when you feel peaceful and contented. Each of these positive feelings enhances your success plan.

When emotional ice water flows into your life, reach into your book of happy memories. Unfold the list and read it. Take at least one action step to restore peace and self-esteem to yourself every time there is a cold breeze flowing toward you. Maybe call one of those positive people; send them a handwritten note or email. Spend a few quiet minutes thinking about an enjoyable time with great people. You can not control all of the emotional ice water, but you can take responsibility for your reaction to it.

For a speaker, coach, mentor and workshop leader who gives constructive solutions to life’s situations, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com

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What are you thinking and saying?

Where is your head? What are you thinking?

Recently I received a telephone call from a lady who said she was optimistic and doing fine in one breath and in the next breath lamented her financial and marital situation. It is bad enough when others throw emotional ice water on us, but the worst internal chill actually occurs when we throw the emotional ice water on ourselves.

Examine your thoughts, feelings and words. Are your words contradicting each other? The old “fake it until you make it” attitude sets up a conflict between your words and your reality. It probably also generates a conflict between your words and your thoughts or feelings. When you say something you do not believe, you run a significant risk of having your subconscious mind saying, “No, that is not true. You have not achieved any of that. . .” Unless you are an extremely good actor or actress, your mental and emotional vibrations will transmit the discrepancy. Yes, put your experience and presentation in a positive light, but always tell the truth. Anything other than honesty will come back to bite you sooner or later.

Resolve the inner conflict in order to bring your feelings, thoughts and words into alignment. You can not control all of the emotional ice water flowing from outside influences into your world; however you have significant control over the quantity of emotional ice water you douse upon yourself. Self mastery is step one in your success plan.

Step back and analyze the cause of the conflict. In the case of the lady who telephoned, she said, “I’m fine.” Right words. When the words were uttered in the middle of sobbing, it did not ring true. Not every case is quite that obvious. She did not even believe she was fine. She later confessed that she was scared, lonely and uncertain about her financial and social future. Instead of concentrating on everything which was positive in her world, she was dumping buckets of emotional ice water on her present and future.

One of the best ways of eliminating personally generated emotional ice water is to focus on the positive factors in your life. There are two methods which I have found very successful.

Keep a success journal and write down every success you have ever enjoyed in your life. Keep it handy for reference any time you hit a hesitation point. Read it each time you feel the cool breeze of the impending emotional ice water blowing in your direction.

The second method is to start every morning the moment you open and focus your eyes by writing at least 5, and I recommend 10, things for which you are grateful. This starts your day with a positive mental attitude.

Take the “fake it until you make it” attitude. If you declare that you are making $40,000 per month as many internet web pages do, be prepared to justify the claim. If you are making that amount, great. If not, consider revising your statement to say, “My goal is to be making $40,000 a month.” Your thoughts, feelings and words can accept that statement as true as long as you really accept that as a goal for yourself. You will eliminate most if not all of your personally generated emotional ice water and achieve success through a positive mental attitude by resolving the conflict between your words and your thoughts and feelings.

Emotional ice water flows into every life. At least choke off the flow of the self-generated emotional ice water by focusing on a positive mental attitude and aligning your thoughts, feelings and words.

For personalized tips and techniques for controlling the quantity of conflict in your emotional state, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.

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Think Positive, Act Positive

Events are perceived in a triangle pattern.

First person has their view of the facts; they have their perception of the truth. Person two has their version of the truth as they see it, which is different than the first person’s version. Outside observers have a third “truth” from their vantage point. The center of the triangle contains the actual truth.

As you observe these four different perceptions of truth, reflect on the incidents in your life. As you do your best to step out of your individual impression of the truth, seriously attempt to view the situation from the perspective of the other person. No, it does not mean you are making one of you right and the other wrong; you are simply attempting to understand their view.

If each person truly attempted to understand the way another viewed each situation, we would foster less hostility and controversy in the world. There is a powerful little book in my private library. “Getting to YES, Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In’ by Roger Fisher and William Ury presents answers to resolving situations before they become deadlocked.

Why do conflicts escalate to the point of irreparable deadlock? Could the answer be that we unintentionally, or perhaps intentionally, refuse to consider the viewpoint of others?

Think of yourself as dragging a sack weighing several hundred pounds around with you 24 hours per day. Your shoulders ache, your back hurts and your arms feel like they are being pulled apart at the joints. All of these aches and pains can relate to carrying the guilt, anger or tension contained in that sack. Why carry it when you can step back, attempt to change your view of the events and release that burden? Even though you are not physically carrying that sack, the net result is the same if you are mentally and emotionally carrying it.

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”
-Karen Kaiser Clark

Who has the power to start the process of releasing the mental Atlas load? You do. Ok, you say nothing will change until the other party does the same. True, there will not be total harmony and resolution without both parties participation. Someone has to start the process. Even if they do not release the weight, if you do, then your shoulders and soul feel the breath of fragrant air and comforting sunshine. You see, you are not releasing the burden for their sake; you are releasing it for your own benefit.

Emotional ice water does flow into your life. Conflict does occur. Changes happen.

It is not a matter of “if” these things happen, it is a fact that they will happen. Cultivating a millionaire mindset means focusing your time, attention and energy where it will be most productive. Carrying grudges, tension and drama divert your focus from the positive things in your life. The best success plan is to focus on positives. One of those positives is creating harmony and understanding.

Simple steps to peace of mind.
1. Attempt to view the situation from the point of view of the other person
2. Look for resolutions rather than locking into your personal point of view.
3. In the grand scheme of life, how important is this one incident? Sometimes we lock in on something which truly is not that important to us.
4. Release the burden from your soul so you can concentrate of productive matters.
5. Forgive yourself and others.
6. Celebrate all of the positive things in your life. Be grateful for what you have. Time is precious. Relationships can be fragile but some, probably most, are to be treasured.

Handle life’s little dilemmas differently and your smile will glow a little more brightly and your relationships will amazingly glide a bit smoother. Successful people maintain a positive mental attitude. Their influence and workplace attitude are more congenial.

Who knows, your face may even show less wrinkles. Personally, I would consider that a marvelous side benefit of less stress. You will acquire more success through a positive mental attitude than you ever will by locking in on to your point of view.

Less emotional stress, less trauma and less frown lines – sounds like an emotional success plan. For more positive approaches to conflict and tips and techniques for a more profitable, productive and happy life, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.

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Job laid you off?  Can’t find another job?  Tired of looking for a job?  Maybe starting your own business is the answer.

79 million people will start a home business in the next three years according to this recent report in Forbes magazine.  American forefathers left England and came to America to build their businesses.  The entrepreneur has always been the backbone of America.  Edison, Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, Ford, Carnegie, Rockefeller, Gates and so many others were all entrepreneurs.  Every one of them started and developed their own business.  Why not you?

Why start your own business?  You control your income potential; you do not have a boss setting a salary or bonus cap on your earnings.  You set your own hours; no one tells you what time to arrive, take your break, take your lunch or what time to leave at night.  You no longer have to ask permission for a day off or a vacation.  Your duties are also your decision.  Sound good?

Even the beautiful petals of a rose and the heady perfume of its soft fragrance have a down side.   A rose bush has thorns.  Owning and operating your own business requires work.  Yes, I know.  Bummer.  The price you pay for all of those wonderful benefits is the responsibility of accomplishing all of the tasks necessary to make a business successful.

Decision one requires that you do something you know.  Either you already possess the necessary knowledge to be successful or you start learning.  Unless you already know exactly what you want to do, it is time to start assessing factors.

Before I started Mountain Castles Property Management, I asked questions and listened until I discovered a niche which needed to be filled.  Steamboat needed a property management company specializing in single family homes.  They wanted to rent homes on a yearly basis, a vacation basis or an executive basis.  An executive home does not rent; however, it must be cared for during the owner’s absence.  In some cases, the home needed attention even during the owner’s stay.

My knowledge was grossly insufficient in property management.  Reading books, attending classes and working for another property management company provided the training.

Decision two requires writing a detailed business plan.  What equipment, facilities, and supplies will be required?  How much will it cost?  What is the income projection?  What advertising will be used to achieve that income?  What about office staff?  The list goes on and on.  Prior planning avoids being blindsided by expenses.

Be optimistic but add a dash of realism.  You will not start out earning 20,000 income per month.  You will have unexpected expenses.  One of the jokes in building a new home is that it will take twice as long as expected and cost twice as much.  If you do not plan carefully, starting a new business can follow that same scenario.

Accurate record keeping is essential.  If you have a question about keeping a receipt or not, write every detail on it and file it where you can find it.  The IRS loves paper.  The steps to start a small business are quite simple and direct; however skipping any of them is not an option.

1. Find a niche doing something you enjoy
2. Either already posses the knowledge or acquire it
3. Write a detailed business plan which includes every potential cost or situation
4. Implement the plan.  Knowledge without action has far less value.
5. Keep a very positive mental attitude and keep moving forward
6. Celebrate every little success on the way to the big successes

The steps to start a small business are not difficult.  In a tough economy, starting small business may be easier than finding that magic job.

For specific, individual help, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.

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