Posts Tagged ‘positive mental attitude’

Have you ever known anyone with a faulty thought filter?  Do you know a person who speaks first and thinks about the impact of the words later?  Even worse is the person who speaks without a clue as to the words being uttered or the impact of those words.

A dear friend of mine frequently quips, “You heard the thought at the same time I did.”  In an ideal mental and physical installation, there is a filter between the thought entering the conscious mind and that same thought exiting in audible words.  There are cases on record of both faulty installations and totally absent installations.

July 4, 2011 at 1 pm I had a blind date with a professional golfer.  Having achieved the rank of professional on the PGA circuit, one would expect a certain degree of class and social graces.

His offer of a putting lesson sounded like a good idea. The lesson was certainly needed.  “Yes, I live on the 13^th tee of a professional golf course.  Yes, a golf bag and clubs exist in the dark recesses of the garage; however, they have not even been dusted in 30 years.”

3.57965 minutes into the putting lesson he said. “You have a great body.  How much do you weigh?  125 pounds?”

Guys, be honest.  How many of you even ask your wife what she weighs?  Add insult to shock and volunteer a number and you may be sleeping on the couch for a week.  Plan on taking up permanent residence on the couch if you volunteered a number and you were high.

With a height of five foot one inch and wearing a size zero, obesity is not my issue.  Fortunately, a positive mental attitude exists to ward off the emotional ice water of such thoughtless remarks.

“Ralph, you are wrong, your number is high.”  Mentally, my cleats are dug in to the turf but my mind is racing for the safety of my car.  Totally clueless, he did not even bother to apologize.

A few months later he sent an email,”Do you remember me?”  Remember him?  Oh yes.  Respond to the email. .  .no!

In the interest of not being accused of gender bashing, come with me to a professional Realtor organization.  Keep in mind that my Real Estate Brokers license was issued in 1986; I have utmost respect for the industry.

The new President of the organization came up to me and declared, “Oh Elaine, the day I met you I went home and told my husband that I just met a lady with the most fabulous figure.  She must be in her 70s.”

Social error number two is commenting on a female’s age and volunteering a number over a decade high.

Once again, thank you for a positive mental attitude to see the humor in a potentially insulting situation.  Emotional ice water can be offset with a positive mental attitude.

Once again we have a serious filter installation issue.  Expertise in one area does not mean expertise in all areas.  Both individuals were accomplished professionals in their area of expertise.  Both committed grievous social errors.

Fortunately, maintaining a positive mental attitude provided ego salvation.

Join me at www.Elaine4Success.com or www.ElaineSpeaks.net.  Hire Elaine Love as your coach and as the keynote speaker or workshop leader for your next event.  Whether you are seeking to improve your employment situation, gain more expertise as a public speaker or be more effective persuading your kids, hiring a coach will assist you.  Your success requires a positive mental attitude.

Your most important sale is always to yourself. If you have been involved in sales training, motivational seminars or even reading mindset books, you have heard the phrase, “I am sold myself.”

Point of consideration – Whether you are selling a product or service, interviewing for a job or asking someone for a date, you must first convince yourself that you are worthy. Granted, you may stammer and hesitate when you ask the object of your affection to go out with you; however, if you do not believe in yourself, why should they believe in you?

During my years as a single lady, especially with the last name “Love,” I have encountered a wide variety of “come on lines.” The demeanor of the man ranged from shy to confident to absurdly arrogant. One of the most unique was Don A. He confidently walked into the doorway of my office at March Tire and stated his purpose, “Are you the owner’s wife?” “No,” I replied. “Are you anyone’s wife?” “No,” I stated with an amused grin. “May I sit down?” Confidence means being courteous but getting to the point of the conversation. We enjoyed each other’s company for many years.

Interviewing for a job requires you to be confident of your abilities and confident of your capability of successfully mastering the duties of the job. Be prepared to present examples of prior successes as they relate to that specific position. Answer questions honestly and clearly. There are more candidates than positions available during a challenging economy. Don’t waste your time or the interviewer’s time by not being prepared.

Selling a product or a service requires a positive mental attitude, knowledge of your product and belief in the product. It does not mean that you have to know every tiny detail of your product. It certainly does not mean that you immediately start expounding upon every bit of knowledge you do possess. Very few people, certainly no one that I know, want to be pressured by a hard sell approach. When someone accosts me with an “I will not take no for an answer” attitude, I am immediately searching for the nearest escape route. Used car salesmen, insurance salesmen and even some network marketing salesmen are reputed to be so pushy and forceful that people avoid them.

Treat others the way you wish to be treated. What type of presenter appeals to you? Personally, I prefer that someone show genuine interest in me and in my needs. How do you do that? Ask questions and actually listen to the answers. Most people love to talk about themselves. When you are confident and possess a positive mental attitude about life, you can more easily shine the spotlight on others. Asking questions about their interests and how you might help them, builds rapport. What problem can you solve for them? It is not about what you have to sell, it is all about how you can serve them and help solve their problems. You will never know exactly what problems exist unless you ask questions and listen to the answers.

Being willing to focus on the needs and interests of others is a mark of confidence in yourself and a mark of respect for others.

Exactly the same principles apply whether you are selling a product or service, interviewing for employment or seeking a date. Be confident in yourself and what you have to offer. Demonstrate genuine interest in the other person and what problem you can solve for them. Build a relationship. High pressure is a turn off. Confidence is a turn on. Caring is a positive.

Hire Elaine Love to speak to your next event. Hire Elaine Love as your personal coach and mentor. Go to www.Elaine4Success.com or www.ElaineSpeaks.net to continue the conversation. Let me know how I can assist you.

“Life begets life. Energy becomes energy.” Sarah Bernhardt

Life is an attitude. Choose to have a good one. Attitude is always important but even more so right now. When the economy is going south, sometimes a positive mental attitude is one more challenge. Establishing and maintaining a positive mindset may not feel easy when the word on the street feels like Chicken Little “The sky is falling.”

Despite all of the media doom and glom and the talking heads predicting economic calamity, the one thing you can absolutely control is your positive mental attitude. Others can expound upon their opinions but they can not force you to think and feel negative vibrations. You are in total control of your thoughts and feelings.

How do you have a positive attitude when you feel like your life is crumbling all around you? A positive mental attitude is your only choice if you plan on having your life improve. You will always receive more of whatever you give your time, energy and focus. If you desire a better life, focus on things you really choose to create.

We all face difficult situations in our life. It’s not what happens to us but how we decide to deal with a situation which counts. In As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, he states “Circumstances do not define a man, they reveal him.” What are your circumstances revealing in your life?

Life has dealt me some extremely challenging situations. The way I not only survived but thrived, was by not giving life any choice except a positive outcome.

Put a smile on your face and a glow in your spirit. Your thoughts become your words – your words become your actions. Actions determine your results. Maintaining a positive mental attitude comes from the inside out. It all starts with a decision. Make a decision to focus on positive thoughts, words and actions. Follow through with conscious action all day every day.

As you examine the tools in your mental toolbox, you attitude is totally within your control. Emotional ice water will flow into your life. Whether the negativity flows from friends, co-workers or relatives (sometimes the worst emotional ice water comes from our relatives) or even worse, from ourselves, it will occur. Guaranteed! Someone or something will happen to throw a bucket of emotional ice water on your life. You can control a degree of that by limiting the time you spend with the negative people in your life.

You have 100% control of how you choose to react to the icy blasts. No, I did not say it was easy but your mental and emotional health requires you to take control of your thoughts, feelings and positive mental attitude.

Hire Elaine Love to speak at you next conference. Hire Elaine Love as your personal coach and mentor. Join me at www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com.

What can you do to make a positive impact on a life?

What kind of legacy will you leave to the world?

In a speech several months ago, Dave Garrison held up a card “Believe the Best” or “Assume the Worst.” This card sat on top of my roll top desk for months now.

The sayings have had an impact on many decisions in my daily life. The most poignant example relates to a frail petite red headed girl named Kim Brazelton. Kim was the single mother of an 11 year old daughter. Kim and her sister applied for housekeeping positions with Mt. Castles Property Management. They quickly established a reputation for excellent cleaning abilities and attention to detail. Even though these were probably the finest homes they had ever entered in their lives, they learned quickly how to care for the homes and please the owners, renters and the head housekeeper. Kim had an especially positive mental attitude. She was a very reliable lady.

Kim worked for me for several years and eventually rose to the status of head housekeeper. Her positive mental attitude at work shifted to a bit of a positive play attitude on her own time. Kim was a bit of a wild one during her “off duty” hours. She or her sister frequently entertained the staff with tales of risqué parties and wild four wheeling rides through the woods. It did not come as a surprise to any of us that Kim lived a bit over the edge of pay check to pay check. It seemed as if she either asked me for an advance on her pay check or was borrowing gas money or lunch from someone on the staff on a very regular basis

She called in one morning relating a tale of woe about her car not starting. Without a car, she could not drive the 40 miles from Craig, CO to Steamboat, CO. Her sister did not have a car because her husband drove their car to his work.

Purchasing another car was totally out of the question. Actually, paying to repair her current car would cost almost as much as purchasing another equal value clunker. At that point, 1993, we did not have President Obama’s “cash for clunkers” program.

Walking 40 miles each way was absolutely out of the question; however, Steamboat Ski Resort did furnish a bus to travel from Craig to Steamboat twice a day. The times were not ideal and the pick up and drop off location was over a mile from Kim’s house. Kim needed the job and the income, so she made the effort to adjust to the bus schedule.

One winter day she asked if there was anything I could do to help her. I don’t know the number for Kim’s credit rating but suffice it to say that she probably did not qualify to purchase the down payment on a free lunch. Knowing she did not have any assets other than a few cleaning supplies, a few personal items and maybe a few household items, collateral was not a possibility. No credit rating and no collateral meant she more than qualified for the term “high risk.”

When the chips are down and the odds are against you, do you reach out to believe the best about someone or assume the worst? What is more important, protecting yourself or giving someone else a fresh start?

Against the advice of everyone around me, I went to the bank with Kim. I sold her my housekeeping S-10 pickup with camper shell. It was well maintained and not a gas guzzler. We agreed on a price of $1,500. I purchased a certificate of deposit for $1500 and placed it on deposit with the bank as well as leaving the title to the truck in my name and leaving it on deposit with the bank.

Kim agreed to make regular monthly payments to the bank. This would establish at least one credible payment record to begin the process of re-establishing her credit rating.

The bank promised to call me if a payment was late. Yes, there were numerous times when Kim’s payment was late. Throughout her struggle to complete the payments, I assured her that I believed in her. She maintained her positive attitude and her promise to complete the agreement. To her credit, she eventually made all of the payments. The title to the truck was transferred to her name.

Believe the best in someone and act as if they deserve a second chance and the odd greatly increase that they will delight both you and themselves with the result.

Kim came back to me years after I sold Mt. Castles and asked for another loan. Once again I helped her. She said she would pay it back in 3 months. She didn’t quite make the 3 month deadline, but she did repay the loan in full.

The tears in her eyes as she thanked me for believing in her when no one else did. . . . As the master change commercial says, “Priceless.”

Hire Elaine Love for inspiration and positive mental attitude boosts for your group. Hire Elaine Love as your personal coach and mentor. Contact Elaine Love at www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com.

Are you dumping buckets of emotional ice water on yourself?  Of course we do not intend to provide massive quantities of negative input to ourselves, but that is exactly what we do when we commit the 3 deadly sins: making excuses, blaming others or being the victim.

Be careful which thoughts you are allowing free rent in your head?  The more you think, feel and speak negative ideas, the more negatives you will attract.  It is commonly accepted that we receive more of whatever we give our time, energy and focus.  Think about it.  When was the last time you were in a real funk and had your negative “Debbie or David Downer” thoughts perk up your attitude?  Unless you are a sadist or a masochist, that answer is probably NEVER.

Logic says if you want to feel good, and most of us do, then you must think and feel positive.  Creating and maintaining a positive mental attitude is essential to your success plan.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, noted philosopher and personal development guru, started his career as a college professor and therapist.  In one of his lectures he said, “If you have my cell phone number, and I hope you don’t, you will hear the following message, ‘You have reached the cell phone of Dr. Wayne Dyer. If your message is designed to do anything other than make me feel good, hang up and call Dr. Phil.’”

Many times I have been tempted to place that message on my voice mail.  We all want to feel good.  My mission statement declares the intention of “…improving the lives of everyone I touch.”  The goal is not only to feel good personally but to make others feel good as well.

The best way to feel good personally is to remove all of the excuses.  Remove all of the “yeah, but . . . “statements from your life.  The “I can’t do that because . . .” or the “Well, that will never work for me” statements are simply dumping buckets of emotional ice water on ourselves.  Self defeating statements or limiting beliefs pour in the doubts and remove all hope of success through a positive mental attitude.  Self limiting statements drag you down and undermine confidence.

The second deadly sin against ourselves is blaming others.  “It was my parents fault; they didn’t love me.”  “I was the oldest child or the youngest or even the middle child.”  “It’s not my fault I was born in a depression.”  Blaming your parents, your siblings, your boss, the economy or even the dog catcher does absolutely nothing positive to restore your confidence or self esteem.  Get over it.  Take responsibility for your past, your present and your future.

The third deadly sin against your self is playing the role of victim.  “Look what my parents, my boss, my spouse, or society did to me.”  Seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances will dump bucket after bucket of emotional ice water on your head.

Look deeply into your self talk, your feelings and your words.  Are you committing emotional self destruction?  The devastation caused by excuses, blame and victimization is 100% within your control.  You control your thoughts, feelings and words, or at least you can control them.  Make a decision today, RIGHT NOW, to start saying only positive things to yourself.  Develop and maintain a positive mental attitude.

Create a success plan based on positive, empowering statements to yourself and about yourself.  You are the only one who can create and continue only positive thoughts and feelings for yourself.  You may not be able to control the world economy, but you can certainly control yourself.

Book Elaine Love to speak to your next group meeting or book Elaine Love as your personal coach.  Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com.  You can purchase products or join my workshops at www.ElaineSpeaks.com.  Think positive.  Remove all excuses, blame and victim thinking.  Create an effective success plan.

Financial challenges abound in this turbulent economy.  As individuals, we can not control Ireland’s default of $100 billion or the impending crisis for Portugal, Italy, Spain and the other countries in the European Union.  Far too many of us are holding our chin high to keep our head above our personal rising financial waters.

Stop!  Breathe! There is an excellent segment in every economy.  There is hope!  No matter how bleak it may appear on our financial horizon, stop and look at what we do have instead of what we might not have.

Step 1 in any success plan is to employ entrepreneurial thinking.  An entrepreneur is by nature an optimist and a visionary.  We, yes I am an entrepreneur, see opportunity rather than disaster.  Over half of the companies in the Dow Jones Industrial Average started in an economic downturn.  Yes, there is hope in this economy right now.

Control what you can!  The one thing you absolutely have in your control is your attitude.  No one controls your thoughts, feelings and words except you.  When you maintain a positive attitude and speak with genuine positive expectation, positive things happen.  Wealth creation strategies start with your own thoughts, feelings and attitude.

In an earlier article, I wrote about the “Gold Dust Attitude.”  Even though the economy was drowning, going down for the third time, one salesman maintained a “Gold Dust Attitude.”  When asked, ”How is Business?” he always replied, Business is Great.  There is gold dust in the air.”  Amazingly, for him, business improved constantly and there was indeed gold dust in the air for him.  It all started with his “positive mental attitude” and expectation of positive results.

Even if things are not golden for you at the moment, what do you have to lose by changing to a positive mental attitude and deciding to establish a gold dust attitude?

Whether you are viewing your personal life, your career or your tennis game, a positive mental attitude gives you a significant advantage.

You can not control the financial situation of other countries; however, you can control yourself.

Your subconscious does not know if you are telling it the truth or fiction.  Keep telling it positive thoughts long enough and you will start acting in a positive manner as well.  A positive mental attitude coupled with positive actions will always product positive results.

The contrast is also true.  Negative thoughts and lack of action produce negative results.  You choose.

For myself, I have chosen a “gold dust in the air attitude” and I expect golden results.  Come join me.

Book Elaine Love to speak to your next group meeting or book Elaine Love as your personal coach.  Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com.  You can purchase products or join my workshops at www.ElaineSpeaks.com.  Think positive.  Think “Gold Dust in the Air” as your success plan.

Golden leaves of fall have drifted down from the Aspen trees and scurried across the roadways and mountain trails chased by the cool fall breezes. Each day those breezes seem to bring a few degrees more chill to the air. Soon my Colorado landscape will have snowflakes drifting down to cover the golden leaves. The mountains already wear a cloak of white.

Nature paints a beautiful landscape from the brilliant hues of the wildflowers in spring and summer to the golden hills of fall and the pristine white of winter. As much as I appreciate natural beauty and love to hike through the beautiful Colorado countryside, it resembles life on Someday Isle – beautiful but certainly not productive or profitable.

Draw a parallel between the seasons and your financial situation. There have been times when the lush green of summer mirrored the lush green of cash in your bank account. Oh how we enjoyed those fertile times. Ideally, at least ten percent of those treasured earnings were carefully invested for the future. Just as the squirrels and ants store up for the long winter months, so we should also. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to expect those lush days to last forever.

During my days as the owner of a property management company in a major ski resort, this “spend today and not worry about tomorrow” attitude prevailed. Anyone who relates to business in a ski resort knows that the snow represents white gold. Money flows in quite nicely during ski season. In early April the snow tapers off and the income disappears as quickly as the snow flakes in the warm sun.

In the late 1980’s there was very little, if any, income in April, May, June, September and October. July, August and November might be slightly better than zero. Four months of ski season income needed to also cover the other eight months. Those who spent lavishly during the four months and did not provide for the other eight months were frequently found desperately scrambling by September or before.

Using the ski resort as an example, income is exactly opposite of the seasons. In financial terms the lush income represents the lush green of summer. The barren income period would be the financial winter.

Anyone who has a seasonal business, a commission only income or a “feast or famine” income, MUST establish an emergency reserve fund. Ok, no you do not have to plan ahead and prepare for your financial winter season. You either prepare now or expect to beg for assistance later. In our current economic turmoil, those who did not prepare are scurrying like the fall leaves by blowing right and then left or round and round in circles.

According to Paul Zane Pilzer, economic advisor to two presidents, there will be more millionaires created between 2006 and 2016 than at any prior point in the history of the world. This money does not go away, it simply changes hands. The new wealthy will be the ones who understand their financial seasons and take appropriate action. There is excellent opportunity in every economic situation if you maintain a positive mental attitude and use entrepreneurial thinking. Use the resources at hand, including your mental creativity.

Examine your financial situation and draw a parallel with the seasons. Resolve to use your entrepreneurial thinking and achieve success through a positive mental attitude and productive action.

Need some help? Book Elaine Love to speak to your group or book Elaine Love as your personal coach. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net. If you are a person of immediate action, go to www.ElaineSpeaks.com and purchase products. There are many resources available at www.Elaine4Success.com. Don’t be left out in the barren financial winter.

Are you living on Someday Isle? Someday I’ll do this or someday I’ll do that. Palm trees waving in the breeze and the gentle lap of the waves against your bare feet in the warm tropical sand sounds like paradise. Sitting in the sunshine in the sand may be paradise for a vacation but unless you are independently wealthy or enjoy being a vagrant, it is not a long term solution.

Wake up! Work smart and focused right now and you can enjoy a life of paradise later. You have heard the old expression of “pay me now or pay me later.” Equally applicable is “work now and enjoy later” or you will be working longer and enjoying less in your senior years.

What is the problem? What is holding you back from achieving everything you desire and deserve? Are you afraid? Afraid of failure? Afraid of rejection? Afraid of success?

Just as the annoying pop up advertisements appear on your computer screen, fear pops up in our lives. The question is not IF fear will pop up but HOW WILL WE HANDLE IT?

1. Use the ostrich method and hide your head in the sand and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Denial (I remember the first time my son Doug said, “de Nile is not just a river in Egypt.”) Far too many people use Budweiser, Merlot or Jack Daniels to hide from their fears. Others choose Cocaine, marijuana or whatever is the latest and greatest mind numbing chemical. Even though the ostrich is the lesser of the avoidance methods, none are solutions. Don’t take my word for it, ask anyone in NA, AA or a multitude of other 12 step programs.

2. Blame someone else. The blame game tears at you from the inside out. Relationships become endangered species or even become as extinct as Tyrannosaurus Rex. Blaming someone else for your woes not only never solves a problem but it also causes more problems. Jim Rohm, famous business philosopher, declared that when you take full responsibility for your life is when you graduate from childhood to adulthood. Blaming others ranks high on the “poor me, feel sorry for me” scale but does not even exist on the success scale.

3. Taking responsibility for every thing you do and every thing you did not do becomes step one toward a solution. I’m not saying to beat yourself up over past actions or omissions; face them, accept them and resolve to do better in the future.

4. Be solution focused. Ask solution oriented questions.
What can I start doing now to make the situation better?
What factors are in my control to start making improvements?
What do I need to start doing or stop doing?
What am I ready, willing and able to do to start the recovery process?
Be honest with yourself. Take action.

Someone challenged me once to hike the Inca trail in Peru with a backpack. Even though I had never been backpacking in my life, it was an intriguing challenge. The fact that my entire back was fused plates and screws was another challenge. Walking and climbing did not seem like a major obstacle, until I was faced with a rope bridge. This bridge appeared to be about the length of a football field. Several hundred feet down was rushing water and major boulders. The foot bed of the bridge was strands of rope a few inches between strands and one single rope on each side for a hand hold. Tipping the heavy back pack could easily result in losing balance and tumbling down into the certain death below. Oh, did I mention that I am uncomfortable with heights. The time had come to choose – move forward over the bridge or retreat to the safety of solid ground and quit. Face the fear, conquer it by crossing the bridge and continue the journey or admit failure and quit. Step by trembling step I crossed.

Your challenge may be starting a business, getting married or overcoming an addiction. Regardless of the challenge or incident you are facing, you have choices. You may not be able to change what has happened to create this dilemma or the fear it caused, but you can do something positive about your fear.

At this moment the United States economy and most of the world economy is in turmoil. We can’t change the past or what others do to manipulate events beyond our control but we can make wise choices on how we choose to handle our personal present situation and thus our future. We can take responsibility for our past and future. We can make wise choices going forward. We can act in spite of fear.

http://www.erie.gov/health/mentalhealth/mental_health_services.asp is a link for additional help in handling fear. Taking solution focused action is always preferable.

Book Elaine Love to bring a positive hopeful message to your organization. If you are seeking a more solution focused attitude for yourself, book Elaine Love as your coach. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net and leave me a message. Visit www.Elaine4Success.com for solutions.

Don’t get caught in a half closed door. The American economy is in turmoil right now. Consequently, many of its citizens are also in emotional and financial turmoil. Some things we can control. Some we can not. One thing we can control is our attitude.

Situations will arise when it is tempting to verbally strike back. Will that verbal retort promote long range good will or damage the relationship both short term and long term? Are you thinking and acting short term at the expense of long term? Are you unintentionally closing the door on your relationships?

Surprisingly enough many people take the temperature of their relationships i.e. assess the health of the relationships, based on the last words or actions which occurred. Think of a wide open door. As each hurtful incident occurs, the door swings closer to closed and latched. Allowing doubts to creep inside your head and heart are dumping emotional ice water on yourself and on your relationship.

Sometimes I need an imaginary wake-up slap to my attitude. Find your own dam to hold back the emotional ice water. Regardless of whether the emotional ice water is flowing from the outside in to you or from you to yourself, it is still flowing. Mine is frequently meditation and music, particularly Josh Grogan and Andrea Bocelli. They put me back in a state of gratitude.

With each nudge of gratitude, the door swings back open another few inches. If you are seeking work-life-relationship balance, stop dreaming. That only happens in fairy land. A more feasible goal is to keep all 3 doors – work, life and relationship – open as much as possible. Hold on to your positive mental attitude and infuse frequent gratitude reminders. When you keep your attitude in the positive quadrant, the doors naturally swing open a little wider.

Design your day with the most important elements as top priority. Schedule your completion of the 3 most critical tasks first. Always build in breathing room for the “oh no, what happened” unplanned events. Anyone who has children, employees or pets will encounter those incidents. When you build in the flex time in your schedule, you have time to handle those situations without slamming the door on something else.

If you can, try to combine exercise, dinner out, or fun activities with family or friends. Caution – this is a work-free zone. Spoiling a lovely outing by constantly checking email on your iPad or texting on your Blackberry nudges that relationship door closed. No matter how tempting it may be to reach for your electronic buddy, try to concentrate on the human companion. Even though it feels like the electronic devices are permanently attached to our bodies, they really can slip quietly into a purse or pocket on silent. These electronic devices are useful, even essential in today’s rush around world, but they are excellent door closers as well.

Avoiding half closed doors can be as simple as scheduling time for top priorities first and allowing for emergencies. Concentrate on your human companion rather than your electronic buddy for a work-free outing at least once every 2 weeks. Weekly is even better. Don’t expect life, work and relationships to always balance. They won’t. Refusing to ignore any of them completely keeps the door open; how far the door opens depends of the quality of the time you devote to keeping a positive mental attitude about all 3. The balance swings heavily toward work for most of us, granted. When you do have personal relationship and life time, enjoy it. Be grateful. Hold a positive mental attitude or at least attempt to hold a grateful positive attitude throughout your day.

Book Elaine for your next meeting, workshop or conference. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net to schedule the booking. Hire Elaine as your positive action coach. Email, call or submit your comments or request to www.Elaine4Success.com,

Brrr it’s cold. No, I’m not talking about snow in the Colorado ski resorts, even though it is that time of year. The most important temperature is the temperature of your life! If you have been receiving buckets of emotional ice water from outside sources or dumping a steady stream of it on yourself, you are probably shivering right now.

Emotional ice water comes from 3 main directions.
1. People in your life dump it on you. They may be friends, co-workers or even those in your own family. They may think they are doing it for your own good.
2. Yourself. We create our own emotional ice water through our negative thoughts, limiting beliefs and holding on to events of the past.
3. The third source is when we unintentionally dump emotional ice water on others.

I say unintentionally. Yes, I’m a realist but I still hold on to a pair of old rose colored glasses. Believing the best in people is one way of giving the benefit of the doubt. Holding a positive mental attitude about life and the people we encounter warms the feelings of all concerned.

A friend of mine, Dave Garrison, gave a speech in which he held up 2 cards: “Believe the Best” or “Assume the Worst.” He had a powerful message in those 2 little cards. Every situation in life brings a choice. We can learn something from everything, everyone and every incident in life. Each time something is said, or not said and we wish it would have been said, or something is done or not done, we have a choice. We can hold a positive mental attitude about it or a negative mental attitude.

We can choose to assume the worst and immediately start hurling buckets of emotional ice water on the offender. Sometimes we keep pouring it on long after everyone forgot the actual incident which started the ice war. We can even start a major ice water flood by spreading it around to others.

Or we can believe the best and think that the error, or perceived error, was accidental. Let’s face it; we have all uttered the unintentional unkind word. We have all committed the thoughtless act. Children are noted for blatant honesty before they mature enough to rephrase their thoughts in a more socially acceptable manner. Most adults have outgrown those childish icy blasts.

Sometimes even as adults we slip and speak unkind or thoughtless words. We may act in inconsiderate ways from time to time. In most of those cases, we know that we did not intend to inflict harm. We know we did not mean that verbal icicle stab.

Do we forgive ourselves for the error? Do we apologize to the other person? Do we move on with life and forget the incident. Yes, if we are emotionally healthy, we do.

Do we always give the other person that same forgiving spirit? It may be easier to make excuses for ourselves because after all, we know we are good people and we have a good heart. But does the other person know that we really did not mean to be cold and careless with our words and deeds? Just in case they don’t, tell them by apologizing. Ask for forgiveness. If you ask to be forgiven, they probably will do so and the incident ends. Everyone will come away with a positive mental attitude instead of a frozen spirit.

We want to be forgiven, but do we extend that warm spirit of forgiveness to others or do we assume the worst where they are concerned? Holding on to negative thoughts from the past only dumps more emotional ice water on ourselves. Forgive them and move on.

Emotional ice water can damage the spirit of everyone it touches. Regardless of whether it comes from our outside associates, from ourselves or if we are dumping it on others, it becomes a soul chilling experience. An experience none of us wants. An experience we have the power to control.

Once we have clarified the sources, the methods to overcome it and the benefits of removing it from our lives, there is nothing remaining but to take positive action.

If you are seeking a speaker, or know someone who is seeking a speaker, who gives value, inspiration and enjoyment, contact me. If you could use a coach who genuinely cares about providing value in your life and a warm glow in your spirit, contact me at www.Elaine4Success.com or write me a note at www.ElaineSpeaks.com.