Posts Tagged ‘personal relationships’

Unconsciously Harming Our Families

We are unconsciously harming our families.  Almost a decade ago I met Deanna Latson, devilGoToHealth.com.  Pronounce that carefully.  Deanna speaks on college campuses and organizations throughout the world.  Her focus is eating healthy and living in a healthy environment.

 

Even though I knew she was right and made minor changes to my diet: eliminating my daily diet Pepsi, cutting back on dairy (She advocates eliminating cheese; I’ve cut back considerably, but not totally eliminated cheese.), and eliminating as many processed foods as possible.  Even though my diet was healthy and my exercise routine was extensive, these changes improved my quality of life.

 

The major impact hit when my small grandson was diagnosed with Celiac.  Now the toxins in life became personal.  Even though it had been around me, I had not noticed how many of my friends and their family members suffered from various allergies and diseases – all of which were intensified by using harmful household products.

 

New awareness awakened the information Deanna had presented years earlier and increased my desire to locate a source of healthy household products which were convenient to purchase and economical without sacrificing quality.  After about six months of searching, the answer finally appeared.

 

Amazing how something can be in front of you for years, but it has to become personal before the total impact hits.  If you have listened to the Tread Climber commercial, you heard, “You could have changed your life way earlier.” I feel the same way about the toxins.

 

My life has improved, my grandson’s life has improved and the lives of so many of my friends have improved.  All because of a wake-up call and taking action.  To my delight, the cost is actually less than the harmful products.  Who knew?  If I can help you by sharing my research, please contact me.

Reflections and Realizations 2012-2013

 

Commit to making 2013 even better than 2012

Looking back over 2012, what were your highlights?  Being a glass half full and optimistic person, I prefer to focus on the positives.  Yes, I learn from the negatives as well as the positives.  Since it is a known fact that we always receive more of whatever we give our time, energy and focus, I prefer to concentrate on the positive.

 

What were the personal highlights of 2012?  What did you learn about yourself?

2012 was an eventful year for me.  My first book, Emotional Ice Water was published.  The comments about how much it helped people to get out of their own way and start truly living life to the fullest warmed my heart.  One man very close to me said, “It was better than I thought it would be; that could be a compliment.  I’ve decided to take it as a left-handed compliment.

 

Even though it was an entire year ahead of schedule, I became President of the Castle Pines Rotary club in July.  With the unexpected turmoil which caused my early ascension, it has been a bumpy road but we are making progress.  I jumped in with both feet up to the top of the curls and relate 100% to the values and mission of Rotary.

 

A few unexpected financial events have made a wonderful and truly appreciated upswing in income toward the end of 2012.  That is never a bad turn of events.  Nice way to end the year.

 

 Which relationships meant the most to you in 2012?

Once again, the deepening friendships with Rotarians have astounded and pleased me.

In fact, the genuine outpouring of caring from friends and my sons has truly been heartwarming.  I can’t say enough loving words about my sons.  Wow, am I fortunate.  I’ve laughed that I’m not certain if the fine men they have become is because of me or in spite of me, but I’m grateful nonetheless.

 

What was one of the biggest challenges you faced this year and how did you handle it?

For me as for many Americans, the challenge was endeavoring to keep the income above the outgo.  There are conflicting points of view as to whether the economy is getting better or if the Band-Aid on America’s debt will pull loose revealing a deep gash.

 

 What did you do for fun in 2012?  What was one of your fondest memories?

One of the highlights of my year is always related to my grandsons.  Those adorable little guys have Gamma wrapped securely around their little hands.  For instance at 5 am on Christmas morning both little guys pounce on the bed and say, “Up Gamma, you’re missing Christmas.”  Sleepy-eyed but smiling, we all head upstairs to the Christmas tree.

 

Even though the questions and answers could continue, the importance is reflecting on 2012 in a positive way and seeking the wisdom to commit to making 2013 even better than 2012.  Not just commit, but follow through.

 

When we build positives on positives, the world becomes a happier and more fulfilling place.

Appearance Counts, Especially for the Owner of a Start-Up

Elaine Love

Dress for Success

The business start-up is more than an idea, a business plan, and initial finances.  Does it sound exciting to be able to work from home in your robe and slippers?  Ok, so you put on jeans, flip flops and a hoodie to go to the bank.  Unfortunately that will not create a successful image.

 

As an entrepreneur you are wearing all of the hats.  You are the President and CEO, the accountant, the receptionist and even the office cleaning and maintenance staff.  You never know who you may encounter on your trip to the bank.  What if you met the banker to whom you had just applied for a small business loan?  What if you met the ideal customer who could make a major purchase of your product or the individual who would refer you to that ideal customer?  Would your attire and manner convey the impression of a successful business owner?

 

Darren LaCroix, 2001 World Champion of Public Speaking, considers himself on duty for the client from the time he arrives at the airport to depart for his professional speaking booking.  A future audience member, meeting planner or corporate executive may also be traveling through that same airport at that exact time; they will form an impression which can influence current or future bookings.

 

My speaking and business coaching clients are encouraged to dress business casual with their hair coiffed and clean shoes; females have makeup and the guys are clean shaven.  Does it require extra effort?  Of course.  When you are properly dressed and ready to face the public, you carry yourself just a little more erect.  You smile a bit more and feel better about yourself.

 

As a new entrepreneur, can you really afford to turn away encouragement or financial support?  Probably not.  Did I ever experience such a bitter lesson?  Come with me to Steamboat Springs Ski Resort in Colorado in the early days of Mountain Castles Property Management.

 

It was an especially busy day with tourists departing and new tourists arriving within a few hours for the same five-bedroom homes.  Two housekeepers called in sick.  There wasn’t much choice but to leave my office, put on cleaning clothes and fill the housekeeping gap.  As I stepped into the house, the omen of trouble was immediate.  The sink was piled high.  There is a dishwasher; hadn’t they even washed one dish for the entire week?  My frustration mounted.  One peek into the oven revealed a disaster resembling a burnt out college bond fire.  After a couple hours of scrubbing, it was apparent that there were not enough cleaning materials with me to transform this catastrophe into the sparkling property necessary for the next guests.  I made a hasty dash back to the office to replenish supplies.

 

I entered the office looking especially scruffy and dirty.   I was suddenly face to face with one of my most affluent and impeccably attired female clients.  Neither apologies, explanations, nor excuses could possibly erase my unsavory appearance from her memory.

 

Yes, that appearance error was unavoidable, but what about the avoidable “too much of a hurry to bother” occasions?

 

As the owner, you are making the sales pitch for funding or product sales.  Though you won’t wear a three piece suit to sell products to an auto mechanic shop, it is always respectful to the client to dress up at least as well as they do and preferably slightly better.

 

The old adage of “You never have a second chance to make a good first impression” holds ever so true for the appearance of the owner of a start-up.

 

Take the extra time to pay attention to your attire and grooming.  Your future business and future bank account will thank you.

Are you seeking more success in your life and career? Inquire about hiring Elaine Love for your next sales training, executive meeting or personal growth presentation.  Go to  www.Elaine4Success.com or contact Elaine at Elaine@Elaine4Success.com

Time Efficiency

 

Use your time wisely

Are you spending your time in the most productive manner

What to Do When There’s Too Much to Do: reduce Tasks, Increase Results, and Save 90 Minutes a Day by Laura Stack reminds us that a well-crafted printed message can be far more valuable than a sit down meeting. Think how much time you could save for yourself and your entire team if you did not have to travel to and from a meeting.  Your time could be used far more productively and profitably with a well-crafted printed message.

Planning a meeting to schedule a meeting or hold a meeting which does not need to occur are examples of wasted time

We all have busy lives – career, family, social and perhaps even personal obligations.

Despite our overactive “yes” gland and the overly optimistic “I can do that” attitude, there are a finite number of hours in a day.

What are your priorities?

On a clean sheet of paper draw a large box.  Divide the box into 4 equal squares with one vertical line and one horizontal line.  At the top of the box write the word “Urgent”.  Under the bottom line write the words “Not urgent.”  Just outside the left of the box write the word “Important.”  Outside the right of the box write “Not important.”

The top left box is Urgent and Important.

Top right square is Urgent but not important

Bottom left is Not urgent but important

Bottom right is Not urgent and not important.

Look at your daily activities.  Be aware of your scheduled commitments in the upcoming week.  Start with the upcoming week and record the various time obligations in the appropriate box.  Now look honestly at your week and record the activities you regularly perform which may NOT be recorded on the pages of your calendar.  Which activities are located in which box?  What percentage of your time are you spending in each box?

Don’t forget to acknowledge the time you spend chatting on Facebook, answering emails or perhaps even chatting on the phone or over coffee with friends.  Travel time to and from appointments and daily routines such as television time can slip through the time schedule without proper recording.

Odesk has a program where it records the screen shots of exactly what is happening on your computer screen.  Spending time staring at the screen or cleaning your desk does not count as productive time.  How efficiently are you using your time?

Are you using your time to accomplish the items which are of the highest priority and most urgency?  I hear some of your brains questioning how to determine what is the highest priority.

Peter Drucker, 1905-2005, Austrian born US management guru, writer and seminal business thinker said, “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

If earning a paycheck is important to you, one of your priorities would naturally be to complete the tasks which are the highest priority for your boss.  Knowing your duties, job priorities and the preferences of your boss rank extremely high on the “keep your job” scale, at least during working hours.

What is most important to you?  It is said that you can determine a person’s priorities by looking at their calendar and their checkbook.  What does your calendar and checkbook reveal about your priorities?

If you ask executives about their highest priority, it is not uncommon to hear family toward the top of the list, but upon examination of their calendar, family infrequently receives a time slot.  Be aware of scheduling time for your top priorities in life.  If you run out of money, you can make more.  If you run out of time, you’re done.  Time lost is not recoverable.  Time does have a value.

Clearly defining your most important values will assist in prioritizing your time.  Look carefully at your activities and where you are truly spending your time.  If the time spent does not sync with your priorities, what can you eliminate or at least minimize in order to bring the values into alignment with the time.  Once you align your priorities, you may find that you are doing more of what is truly leading to your goals and wasting less time with the activities which divert you from your goals.

It is not just physical travel time but also mental time which influences your daily schedule and your ultimate productivity.  How will you feel when you have more productivity and less stress?

For more information on priorities and time efficiency, stay tuned to www.Elaine4Success.com.  Also inquire about hiring Elaine Love for your next sales training, executive meeting or personal growth presentation coaching.  Go to www.Elaine4Success.com/Contact or www.MeetElaineLove.com.

 

Empathy or . . .

Do you have empathy or sympathy?  Your mind may be questioning why this is important or what it has to

Be approahable

People do more for those they know, like and trust.

do with business.  Why do you need either one in your career?

Sympathy is feeling for someone.  You might sympathize with a co-worker who has the flu or even a more serious illness.  You could sympathize with someone who experienced a traumatic car accident.  You feel for the person but you cannot totally relate to exactly how that other person may feel.  You have sympathy but not empathy.

Empathy is feeling with the person.  If you have personally experienced a major illness or suffered a serious automobile accident, you may be able to feel with the person.  You know more about how they may be feeling because you experienced a similar situation.  Empathy is feeling with the person.

What does this have to do with business?  Placing yourself in the mindset of your customer will help you know what they may need in a given situation.

When the economy took a sharp nosedive in 2008, retirement portfolios were adversely affected for far too many people.  If you were one of those whose 401 K became a 41K, you can certainly empathize.

Doing your best to put yourself in your prospect’s situation or your employee’s situation can ease the tension.  People always do more for those they know, like and trust.  It is so much easier to know, like and trust someone you feel understands you and cares about you.

That does not mean a mutual pity party; it means you both relate to the situation so you can search for mutual positive solutions.  You can empathize with each other and help each other pull up and out of a tough situation.  “Thanks for understanding” builds much more goodwill and positive energy than “You don’t know what it’s like.  You have no idea what it feels like to be in my situation.”  Heavy doses of sympathy will not bridge that gap.  Only empathy will truly ease the chasm between you.

Strive to empathize not sympathize and your relationships will significantly improve.

If you desire to improve your life, build your personal and professional relationships.

For more information on relationships, stay tuned to www.Elaine4Success.com.  Also inquire about hiring Elaine Love for your next sales training, executive meeting or personal growth presentation coaching.  Go to www.Elaine4Success.com/Contact or www.MeetElaineLove.com.

Relationship Thermometer

If your relationships were on a thermometer, would they register “warm and happy” or “cold and distant?”

Improving relationships and peace

Key to better relationships

The recent issue of Success magazine cd featured an interview depicting our relationships primarily as either a victim or a competitor role.  It went on to say that many of our communication issues and thus communication problems stem from both parties choosing to occupy the victim role at the same time.  “You did this to me.”  “No, I am the one who is wronged.  You need to apologize.”  If both parties are locked into a “I’m right and you are wrong” mindset, how can we possibly resolve conflicts?

It was once said that all wars would end in lightning speed if the politicians who were pontificating were squared off on the front line against each other with live weapons instead of sending our innocent young soldiers to the front lines.  The danger of live bullets instead of sharp words could make a significant difference in the willingness to listen, understand the opposing view and reach a resolution.

This same willingness to listen, care about the feelings and opinions of the other party, and find a mutually agreeable solution could solve innumerable personal and professional misunderstandings as well.

Where are your relationships on the temperature scale?  Are you locked into your position with a closed mind or are you attentively listening to the opposing view with an attempt to understand.

What good could possibly come from stepping out of the “I’m right.  You’re wrong” or “I’m the victim” role and listening with genuine interest and curiosity to the other person?  Fewer unhappy marriages?  Fewer lawsuits? Fewer business conflicts?  Perhaps we would even have more happy, productive employees.  What a concept – healing relationships rather than intensifying conflict.

Unless you enjoy being miserable or making others unhappy, it is certainly a valid thought.  Just for the exercise today, even if it is only for an hour, resolve to listen and understand rather than lash out.  You may be delighted with the outcome.

Raise your relationship temperature into the warm and happy zone on the thermometer.  Listen and attempt to understand the other party   You may actually end the day with a smile instead of a frown and know that you did the same for the other party.

For more information on relationships, stay tuned to www.Elaine4Success.com.  Also inquire about hiring Elaine Love for your next sales training, executive meeting or personal growth presentation coaching.  Go to www.Elaine4Success.com/Contact or www.MeetElaineLove.com

Relationships

Elaine Love, author of Emotional Ice Water

If you are ready to get out of your own way, you owe it to yourself to read this book

In the book Emotional Ice Water, the tag line reminds us that it is not about what others say and do but what we think, feel and do.  These words of wisdom relate to all aspects of our relationships.  Yes, your reputation may revolve around the opinions of others, but our self-image and our self-esteem must be solidly rooted in a healthy self-confidence and belief in our self-worth.

If we do not believe in ourselves and the value we bring to our relationships, how can we possibly expect others to believe in us?

Picture a salesman walking in to a meeting where his job requires him to effectively present his product.  If he does not believe in himself or his product, it would take a small miracle for him to be able to present with confidence and conviction.  Image the salesman’s inner dialogue.  If he is saying, “This product is far too expensive for their budget.” Or perhaps his or her thoughts are “I wish I had my sales manager here to demonstrate this product.  They do a much better job of describing the features and benefits than I do.”  These self-doubts and lack of confidence in the potential positive outcome of the presentation absolutely transmit to the customer.  Consciously or unconsciously, the doubts manifest; even a semi-aware customer picks up on the negative vibration.

It took me eight months to make my first sale in a high end network marketing company.  Was it the product?  No.  Was it the fault of the company?  No.  Perhaps the blame rests at the feet of my enroller (upline).  No.  The problem centered solidly on my shoulders.  At that point, I did not have confidence in myself and my sales ability.  I was not building a relationship with the prospect.  My lack of confidence in my abilities provided more of a hesitation than an incentive to purchase.

After serious study and personal development, eventually the sales flowed in abundance.  At one point, the results were over $57,000 per month.  What made the difference?  The difference maker was learning to build relationships.

So are your minds asking, “How do I build relationships?  Tell me, I want that level of income.”

Relationships are built by focusing on the prospect.  What do they need?  What is important to them?  How will the product or service benefit them?

When the attention is focused on the benefit to the other party rather than on an attitude of “What is in this for me,” the relationship builds.  When the relationship solidifies, the resistance lowers.

Relationship building is essential in every aspect of life.  Personal relationships deepen when you care more about the other person than you do about yourself.  Do you enjoy having the people you care about demonstrate that they care about you?  Of course you do.

Business relationships work the same way.  Do you enjoy being sold, pressured or manipulated to buy?  No.  People always buy more from those they know, like and trust.  A trusting relationship encourages more interaction.  The tendency is frequently to run from those we do not like or trust.

 

If you desire to improve your life, build your personal and professional relationships.

For more information on relationships, stay tuned to www.Elaine4Success.com.  Also inquire about hiring Elaine Love for your next sales training, executive meeting or personal growth presentation coaching.  Go to www.Elaine4Success.com/Contact or www.MeetElaineLove.com

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”Elaine spoke to our top leaders from 8 states, she gave us new and positive ways to connect with people
which is EXACTLY what we wanted. Thanks Elaine”
-Tom Fajardo, State Farm