Archive for November, 2010
Are you dumping buckets of emotional ice water on yourself? Of course we do not intend to provide massive quantities of negative input to ourselves, but that is exactly what we do when we commit the 3 deadly sins: making excuses, blaming others or being the victim.
Be careful which thoughts you are allowing free rent in your head? The more you think, feel and speak negative ideas, the more negatives you will attract. It is commonly accepted that we receive more of whatever we give our time, energy and focus. Think about it. When was the last time you were in a real funk and had your negative “Debbie or David Downer” thoughts perk up your attitude? Unless you are a sadist or a masochist, that answer is probably NEVER.
Logic says if you want to feel good, and most of us do, then you must think and feel positive. Creating and maintaining a positive mental attitude is essential to your success plan.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, noted philosopher and personal development guru, started his career as a college professor and therapist. In one of his lectures he said, “If you have my cell phone number, and I hope you don’t, you will hear the following message, ‘You have reached the cell phone of Dr. Wayne Dyer. If your message is designed to do anything other than make me feel good, hang up and call Dr. Phil.’”
Many times I have been tempted to place that message on my voice mail. We all want to feel good. My mission statement declares the intention of “…improving the lives of everyone I touch.” The goal is not only to feel good personally but to make others feel good as well.
The best way to feel good personally is to remove all of the excuses. Remove all of the “yeah, but . . . “statements from your life. The “I can’t do that because . . .” or the “Well, that will never work for me” statements are simply dumping buckets of emotional ice water on ourselves. Self defeating statements or limiting beliefs pour in the doubts and remove all hope of success through a positive mental attitude. Self limiting statements drag you down and undermine confidence.
The second deadly sin against ourselves is blaming others. “It was my parents fault; they didn’t love me.” “I was the oldest child or the youngest or even the middle child.” “It’s not my fault I was born in a depression.” Blaming your parents, your siblings, your boss, the economy or even the dog catcher does absolutely nothing positive to restore your confidence or self esteem. Get over it. Take responsibility for your past, your present and your future.
The third deadly sin against your self is playing the role of victim. “Look what my parents, my boss, my spouse, or society did to me.” Seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances will dump bucket after bucket of emotional ice water on your head.
Look deeply into your self talk, your feelings and your words. Are you committing emotional self destruction? The devastation caused by excuses, blame and victimization is 100% within your control. You control your thoughts, feelings and words, or at least you can control them. Make a decision today, RIGHT NOW, to start saying only positive things to yourself. Develop and maintain a positive mental attitude.
Create a success plan based on positive, empowering statements to yourself and about yourself. You are the only one who can create and continue only positive thoughts and feelings for yourself. You may not be able to control the world economy, but you can certainly control yourself.
Book Elaine Love to speak to your next group meeting or book Elaine Love as your personal coach. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com. You can purchase products or join my workshops at www.ElaineSpeaks.com. Think positive. Remove all excuses, blame and victim thinking. Create an effective success plan.
Financial challenges abound in this turbulent economy. As individuals, we can not control Ireland’s default of $100 billion or the impending crisis for Portugal, Italy, Spain and the other countries in the European Union. Far too many of us are holding our chin high to keep our head above our personal rising financial waters.
Stop! Breathe! There is an excellent segment in every economy. There is hope! No matter how bleak it may appear on our financial horizon, stop and look at what we do have instead of what we might not have.
Step 1 in any success plan is to employ entrepreneurial thinking. An entrepreneur is by nature an optimist and a visionary. We, yes I am an entrepreneur, see opportunity rather than disaster. Over half of the companies in the Dow Jones Industrial Average started in an economic downturn. Yes, there is hope in this economy right now.
Control what you can! The one thing you absolutely have in your control is your attitude. No one controls your thoughts, feelings and words except you. When you maintain a positive attitude and speak with genuine positive expectation, positive things happen. Wealth creation strategies start with your own thoughts, feelings and attitude.
In an earlier article, I wrote about the “Gold Dust Attitude.” Even though the economy was drowning, going down for the third time, one salesman maintained a “Gold Dust Attitude.” When asked, ”How is Business?” he always replied, Business is Great. There is gold dust in the air.” Amazingly, for him, business improved constantly and there was indeed gold dust in the air for him. It all started with his “positive mental attitude” and expectation of positive results.
Even if things are not golden for you at the moment, what do you have to lose by changing to a positive mental attitude and deciding to establish a gold dust attitude?
Whether you are viewing your personal life, your career or your tennis game, a positive mental attitude gives you a significant advantage.
You can not control the financial situation of other countries; however, you can control yourself.
Your subconscious does not know if you are telling it the truth or fiction. Keep telling it positive thoughts long enough and you will start acting in a positive manner as well. A positive mental attitude coupled with positive actions will always product positive results.
The contrast is also true. Negative thoughts and lack of action produce negative results. You choose.
For myself, I have chosen a “gold dust in the air attitude” and I expect golden results. Come join me.
Book Elaine Love to speak to your next group meeting or book Elaine Love as your personal coach. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com. You can purchase products or join my workshops at www.ElaineSpeaks.com. Think positive. Think “Gold Dust in the Air” as your success plan.
Golden leaves of fall have drifted down from the Aspen trees and scurried across the roadways and mountain trails chased by the cool fall breezes. Each day those breezes seem to bring a few degrees more chill to the air. Soon my Colorado landscape will have snowflakes drifting down to cover the golden leaves. The mountains already wear a cloak of white.
Nature paints a beautiful landscape from the brilliant hues of the wildflowers in spring and summer to the golden hills of fall and the pristine white of winter. As much as I appreciate natural beauty and love to hike through the beautiful Colorado countryside, it resembles life on Someday Isle – beautiful but certainly not productive or profitable.
Draw a parallel between the seasons and your financial situation. There have been times when the lush green of summer mirrored the lush green of cash in your bank account. Oh how we enjoyed those fertile times. Ideally, at least ten percent of those treasured earnings were carefully invested for the future. Just as the squirrels and ants store up for the long winter months, so we should also. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to expect those lush days to last forever.
During my days as the owner of a property management company in a major ski resort, this “spend today and not worry about tomorrow” attitude prevailed. Anyone who relates to business in a ski resort knows that the snow represents white gold. Money flows in quite nicely during ski season. In early April the snow tapers off and the income disappears as quickly as the snow flakes in the warm sun.
In the late 1980’s there was very little, if any, income in April, May, June, September and October. July, August and November might be slightly better than zero. Four months of ski season income needed to also cover the other eight months. Those who spent lavishly during the four months and did not provide for the other eight months were frequently found desperately scrambling by September or before.
Using the ski resort as an example, income is exactly opposite of the seasons. In financial terms the lush income represents the lush green of summer. The barren income period would be the financial winter.
Anyone who has a seasonal business, a commission only income or a “feast or famine” income, MUST establish an emergency reserve fund. Ok, no you do not have to plan ahead and prepare for your financial winter season. You either prepare now or expect to beg for assistance later. In our current economic turmoil, those who did not prepare are scurrying like the fall leaves by blowing right and then left or round and round in circles.
According to Paul Zane Pilzer, economic advisor to two presidents, there will be more millionaires created between 2006 and 2016 than at any prior point in the history of the world. This money does not go away, it simply changes hands. The new wealthy will be the ones who understand their financial seasons and take appropriate action. There is excellent opportunity in every economic situation if you maintain a positive mental attitude and use entrepreneurial thinking. Use the resources at hand, including your mental creativity.
Examine your financial situation and draw a parallel with the seasons. Resolve to use your entrepreneurial thinking and achieve success through a positive mental attitude and productive action.
Need some help? Book Elaine Love to speak to your group or book Elaine Love as your personal coach. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net. If you are a person of immediate action, go to www.ElaineSpeaks.com and purchase products. There are many resources available at www.Elaine4Success.com. Don’t be left out in the barren financial winter.
“Man was created as a being who should constantly keep improving, who on reaching one goal sets a higher one” stated Ralph Ransom. With that in mind, I am currently attending a conference to improve my knowledge. Constant learning is an essential part of my success plan.
Jim Rohn, noted business philosopher, stated that “formal education will make you a living but self education will make you a fortune.” Whose words are you giving free rent in your head?
Explore different points of view. One of my father’s words of wisdom was to listen more than speak. His logic revolved around the theory that people seldom learn something new by listening to themselves. By the same token, you will be far more likely to receive a new point of view or new facts unless you spend time with different individuals. Only having conversations with a select few in your comfort zone rarely produces a variety of new information.
Before you go screaming from the room in protest that you must abandon all of your “comfort zone” buddies, take a deep breath. In the 1900’s and even through 1950’s most parents told their children to get a good education, get a good job, work hard and the company would take care of you. Advice which worked at that point in time no longer applies as the standard rule. The economy changes, people are more mobile and knowledge is expanding. The internet has brought more resources within easy and immediate access.
Knowledge is expanding at an astronomical rate. In a July 21, 2007 article by Newsfan in the UK, he believed that human knowledge doubled every 5 years. By 2010, Anthony J. D’Angelo sated “Never stop learning; knowledge doubles every fourteen months.” You choose to keep learning or risk being left behind.
Re-reading the same books may give a glimmer of new insight but rarely an “ah ha” moment. Success magazine book summaries or any of a variety of other services which review and condense books for rapid perusal increase our exposure to information as well as enhance time efficiency. When one of the summaries really connects with you, you can always purchase the complete book; read it in its entirety or keep it for future reference.
Attending live events provides another source of intellectual stimulation. In addition to the speakers on the platform, the networking opportunities with other like-minded attendees enhance mental stimulation. Seeking knowledge has been touted as a success plan since the beginning of time. The first was Eve and the apple. In her case it caused havoc for eternity. Other examples have produced much more socially favorable results. Scientists and inventors have experimented, tested ideas and advanced society. All of these marvelous improvements have advanced our standard of living. Celebrate the quest for knowledge.
In the pursuit of new knowledge, guard carefully the sources of that input. Interview successful people in a wide variety of industries. Reach for information from forward-thinking, progress minded individuals. Be aware of whose ideas you allow to have free rent in your head.
Keeping an open millionaire mindset will escalate your success plan. Keep reaching out for new sources and new information. Process it within your mind and implement as you see best for you. Always keep learning and growing,
For more inspiration, new ideas and stimulation, book Elaine Love at www.ElaineSpeaks.net or www.Elaine4Success.com. Have a prosperous and invigorating success plan. Keep stimulating your millionaire mindset.
Are you living on Someday Isle? Someday I’ll do this or someday I’ll do that. Palm trees waving in the breeze and the gentle lap of the waves against your bare feet in the warm tropical sand sounds like paradise. Sitting in the sunshine in the sand may be paradise for a vacation but unless you are independently wealthy or enjoy being a vagrant, it is not a long term solution.
Wake up! Work smart and focused right now and you can enjoy a life of paradise later. You have heard the old expression of “pay me now or pay me later.” Equally applicable is “work now and enjoy later” or you will be working longer and enjoying less in your senior years.
What is the problem? What is holding you back from achieving everything you desire and deserve? Are you afraid? Afraid of failure? Afraid of rejection? Afraid of success?
Just as the annoying pop up advertisements appear on your computer screen, fear pops up in our lives. The question is not IF fear will pop up but HOW WILL WE HANDLE IT?
1. Use the ostrich method and hide your head in the sand and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Denial (I remember the first time my son Doug said, “de Nile is not just a river in Egypt.”) Far too many people use Budweiser, Merlot or Jack Daniels to hide from their fears. Others choose Cocaine, marijuana or whatever is the latest and greatest mind numbing chemical. Even though the ostrich is the lesser of the avoidance methods, none are solutions. Don’t take my word for it, ask anyone in NA, AA or a multitude of other 12 step programs.
2. Blame someone else. The blame game tears at you from the inside out. Relationships become endangered species or even become as extinct as Tyrannosaurus Rex. Blaming someone else for your woes not only never solves a problem but it also causes more problems. Jim Rohm, famous business philosopher, declared that when you take full responsibility for your life is when you graduate from childhood to adulthood. Blaming others ranks high on the “poor me, feel sorry for me” scale but does not even exist on the success scale.
3. Taking responsibility for every thing you do and every thing you did not do becomes step one toward a solution. I’m not saying to beat yourself up over past actions or omissions; face them, accept them and resolve to do better in the future.
4. Be solution focused. Ask solution oriented questions.
What can I start doing now to make the situation better?
What factors are in my control to start making improvements?
What do I need to start doing or stop doing?
What am I ready, willing and able to do to start the recovery process?
Be honest with yourself. Take action.
Someone challenged me once to hike the Inca trail in Peru with a backpack. Even though I had never been backpacking in my life, it was an intriguing challenge. The fact that my entire back was fused plates and screws was another challenge. Walking and climbing did not seem like a major obstacle, until I was faced with a rope bridge. This bridge appeared to be about the length of a football field. Several hundred feet down was rushing water and major boulders. The foot bed of the bridge was strands of rope a few inches between strands and one single rope on each side for a hand hold. Tipping the heavy back pack could easily result in losing balance and tumbling down into the certain death below. Oh, did I mention that I am uncomfortable with heights. The time had come to choose – move forward over the bridge or retreat to the safety of solid ground and quit. Face the fear, conquer it by crossing the bridge and continue the journey or admit failure and quit. Step by trembling step I crossed.
Your challenge may be starting a business, getting married or overcoming an addiction. Regardless of the challenge or incident you are facing, you have choices. You may not be able to change what has happened to create this dilemma or the fear it caused, but you can do something positive about your fear.
At this moment the United States economy and most of the world economy is in turmoil. We can’t change the past or what others do to manipulate events beyond our control but we can make wise choices on how we choose to handle our personal present situation and thus our future. We can take responsibility for our past and future. We can make wise choices going forward. We can act in spite of fear.
http://www.erie.gov/health/mentalhealth/mental_health_services.asp is a link for additional help in handling fear. Taking solution focused action is always preferable.
Book Elaine Love to bring a positive hopeful message to your organization. If you are seeking a more solution focused attitude for yourself, book Elaine Love as your coach. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net and leave me a message. Visit www.Elaine4Success.com for solutions.
ommunication controls our life. You have been communicating positive and negative feelings since you were a tiny baby. Hopefully your communication techniques have improved since the days of “Wahhhh,” stomping your feet or pounding your fists on the floor. Communication methods vary from cheery greetings “Hi, good to see you” to the more somber “We have to talk, now!” Did you hear your spouse’s voice or your father’s voice in the “talk now” declaration?
There are 3 basic levels of communication. You may speak TO someone; that is the observation or surface level communication. Many speakers spend their valuable platform time speaking to their audience. They walk on stage, deliver their message and walk off. Here I am; this is what I have to say; now I’m done. Unfortunately many business presentations follow that same format. The problem occurs with the fact that leadership speaking requires a leader. John Maxwell, touted as the number one leadership expert, reminded us that unless someone is following us, we are not leading; we are only taking a walk. Leadership requires more than authority and information, it requires a connection with the audience. Talking TO people, it can make the audience feel more like being lectured to or having instructions dictated to them. Personal connections almost always involve some interaction; communication must flow both ways.
The second level of communication involves speaking WITH someone. This interaction can range from a casual conversation between friends to a heated exchange of explosive words. Words once spoken can not be withdrawn; think and inhale deeply before you utter words you may later regret. Whether you are speaking with your lover, a business associate or the guy who rear ended your car in traffic while speaking on his cell phone, you could be speaking WITH someone. Conversations, regardless of vocal volume or intensity, are regarded as speaking with someone. Conversations are engaging with two way communication.
The third level of communication is immersion. Ideally, if you are an inspirational and motivational speaker or giving keynote speeches, you will be CONNECTING with your audience. Connection occurs when the audience feels what you are conveying and truly relates to you and your message. Connecting with your audience is more difficult to quantify but you absolutely know it when you experience it. Do you remember a time when you were in the audience listening to a speaker and the emotion in the room was almost palpable? You could feel the speaker’s emotion and truly internalize their feelings. This is a connection. Have you ever listened to a piece of music and were touched, moved and inspired by the music? That is connection. When a performer is able to emotionally reach an audience, that is connection.
Recently I spoke to a group of attorneys and judges. During the question and answer period, one of the attorneys commented that jury members do not like being manipulated. He had seen other attorneys do that and the jury reacted unfavorably. Yes, I agree with him that manipulating others is absolutely undesirable. Connection is a positive experience. Connection is where both individuals, or one individual connecting with hundreds of others, feels validated and enriched. Manipulation leaves a cold feeling of being used. Genuine connection is a beautiful thing. Connection is immersion in the experience.
1. Talking TO others – observation
2. Talking WITH others – engaging
3. CONNECTING with others – immersion
Genuinely connecting with your audience epitomizes the truly effective inspirational and motivational speaker. Keynote speeches which are genuinely connecting with the audience bring the most value to the speaker and to the audience.
Book Elaine Love for a truly memorable speech which connects with the audience. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.net.
Entrepreneurs with a success plan design and maintain a clear idea of exactly what they choose to accomplish. Fuzzy thinking produces scattergun results. Yes, I have heard the “multiple streams of income” and “do not put all of your eggs in one basket” statements. Granted there is a measure of truth to those premises; however, dividing your time into a few minutes on one project, a few minutes on the next project and a few minutes on each of two or three other projects is a recipe for financial disaster. All you will accomplish is picking up and putting down papers and ideas; very little, if anything, will be accomplished. The only valid way for multiple streams of income to be productive is to have one umbrella project and smaller projects which all flow into the one main project.
As a professional inspirational speaker, I am also asked to coach potential entrepreneurs and struggling entrepreneurs on improving their productivity and profitability. Yes, speaking is my passion. My keynote presentations and workshops focus on assisting potential and struggling entrepreneurs to clarify their business vision i.e. clarify their firstname.lastname@example.org. The speaking and coaching are both focused on the same topic; speaking works with larger groups and coaching focuses on one specific individual or company. Another stream of income is my products. I create products focused on the same subjects for those who are unable to hear me speak in person or those who want to take home materials to listen to after the keynote presentation.
Entrepreneurial thinking encompasses a broad area of topics. It is impossible to cover all of them thoroughly in one keynote. First of all, your mind can only absorb so much at a time and you can only sit still for a given time duration. Hence the creation of products and one-to-one coaching expand the knowledge sharing and focus on your specific challenges.
This is an example of multiple streams of income but all focused on one specific area.
The problem with many new entrepreneurs is when they have one business focusing on investments, a second business with juices and a third business with candles. (These may not be the exact 3 businesses; however, you understand the disconnect.) In some cases the spread becomes so wide that the learning curve never connects the ends of the circle on anything. The attention and finances become scattered and the mind follows closely.
Picking up and putting down projects without ever completing anything not only wastes hours, days and months but it piles the tension on your business and financial shoulders. Oh, that annoying twitch or aching muscle in your back has a direct correlation to that self-imposed stress. You know that tight line which runs from your neck to your shoulder, the one which is pulled tighter than the seams of the pants of a size 12 woman attempting to squeeze into a size 9. The treads strain and stretch and then “pop” the seam splits. That is exactly what you are doing to your nerves, tendons and ligaments in your shoulders. Even worse than dumping the emotional ice water, self imposed negative thoughts or words on yourself, is stacking the tension into your muscles.
Stop! Refocus! Establish a clear vision of exactly which goal you desire. Write out that goal is such exquisite detail that a critical mother-in-law has absolutely no doubt what you choose to accomplish. Clarify that goal until it is a “fine as frog’s hair.” Now place it into a succinct statement. Write a descriptive statement of 10 words or less which summarizes all of your thoughts. Carry it with you and repeat it frequently. Post it in the car, on the refrigerator, or write it in Chap stick on your bathroom mirror. Post it in the shower.
When you are clear in your thinking and needle pointed in your focus, everything flows in the same direction.
Book Elaine Love as your next workshop, seminar or meeting speaker. Let me help you clarify your focus. Go to www.ElaineSpeaks.com for products and www.ElaineSpeaks.net to ask your specific question. I’ll see you in the profit column.
Have you ever had a time when your mind went blank? You were searching for an idea. Maybe even desperately searching for an idea. . . but nothing came to the forefront of your mind. You needed a success plan and you needed it now. You have been asked to give a keynote presentation but you have no clear idea how to arrange your thoughts to make sense to the audience.
I’ve been there and so have many others. As an amateur speaker, that generally happens when people memorize their speeches rather than internalizing the speech. I see the furrowed brow and cloud of confusion in your eyes. What do I mean by internalize?
The success plan for giving keynote speeches or other hour long speeches is really very simple. It is all in the structure. If the speech does not flow, revisit your structure. Patricia Fripp, leading speaking coach for many world class speakers, Certified Speaking Professional, Council of Peers Award for Excellence, Speaker Hall of Fame, and Winner of the Cavett Award presents a simple, effective speech structure. Keynote presentations do not have to be traumatic.
1. Have a captivating opening. Capture the attention immediately with a strong opening. Use a dramatic quotation, a shocking statement, a dialogue; a “you” focused question, or a startling fact. No matter what you do, ALWAYS use your own material or give total credit to the originator. Borrowing material from others is a recipe for disaster, especially if you pretend that it is yours. Yes, I know the phrase that stealing from one is plagiarism but borrowing from many is research. Use your own material or give proper credit.
Know your opening lines. Have them etched on your mind, committed to memory, or set in concrete. These few lines you can memorize.
2. The body of the speech is the place to internalize rather than memorize. The body of the speech should flow easily from point to point. You may arrange it in a chronological time line. Some like to use a “then,” “now,” and “how” sequence. (This is it way it was back at the beginning of the story. This is the way it is now. This is how it changed from then until now.) I have seen others effectively use it is “now,” “then.” and “how.”
How ever you choose to arrange the flow, just be certain there is a logical flow. Jumping around will confuse the audience and cause you to lose your place. If the speech is not flowing and you can not remember what comes next, revisit the structure. Keynote speeches can be fun with the right structure.
Connect the various parts with smooth transition lines. It helps the audience glide smoothly from point to point with you. Know the main points you choose to cover. You do not need to memorize every word. In fact if you do memorize every word, you will be in your head remembering the next line rather than focusing on the audience. Know the points but not necessarily every word. When you know the points, you have internalized the message and can speak more conversationally. You will be more natural rather than cold scripted.
The easiest structure according to Patricia Fripp is tell a story, make a point, tell a second story, make a second point and tell a third story and make a third point. People like original personal stories; when they remember the story, they remember your point. Make one major point per 10 minutes.
3. Design a memorable closing. Select a strong story which encompasses all of your main points. Yes, you may memorize your powerful closing. Avoid introducing something new in the closing. A strong closing wraps up all of the main points, adds an element of emotion and leaves a strong walk away message.
Book Elaine Love for your next workshop, conference or meeting. Go to www.Elaine4Success.com or to purchase products, go to www.ElaineSpeaks.com. If you are seeking a way to take your individual performance or company performance up a few notches in profitability and productivity, book Elaine Love as your coach or professional speaker.